Car and train jokes Jokes Funny Car and train jokes Jokes

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My dad is stupid He thinks a from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
My dad is stupid. He thinks a fjord is a Norwegian motor car.

What car do insects drive A Volkswagen from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
What car do insects drive? A Volkswagen automobile.

How do you stop a dog howling from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
How do you stop a dog howling in the back of a car? Put him in the front.

Auntie Maud bought herself a new rearengine from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
Auntie Maud bought herself a new rear-engine European car. She took an old friend for a drive, but after only half a mile the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. "Oh. Maud," said her friend, "you've lost your engine!" "Never mind, dear," said auntie. "I've got a spare one in the trunk."

What do you get if you cross from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
What do you get if you cross a Rolls Royce with a vampire? A monster that attacks expensive cars and sucks out their gas tanks.

Whats the difference between a teacher and from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.

Why did the stupid racing car driver from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix? He was asking for directions.

What do you call a witch who from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
What do you call a witch who drives really badly? A road hag.

Did you hear about the boy who from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!

Monster Ive got to walk miles home from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home. Ghost: Why don't you take a train. Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.

Why do you have to wait so from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
Why do you have to wait so long for a ghost train to come along? They only run a skeleton service.

Where do ghost trains stop At devil from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
Where do ghost trains stop? At devil crossings.

What is evil and ugly and goes from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph? A witch in a high speed train.

What did the monster say when he from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers? Oh good! A chew chew train!

Whats black and white and red all from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
Whats black and white and red all over? A nun in a car accident.

After spending hours enduring the long lines from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks, and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son. I brought my selection - a baseball bat - to the cash register. "Cash or charge?" the clerk asked. "Cash," I snapped. Then, apologizing for my rudeness, I explained, "I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau." "Shall I giftwrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly. "Or are you going back there?"

One day a guy was driving with from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, "I did that by accident." She replied, "I know that, daddy." He replied, "How'd you know?" The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'ASSHOLE!' afterwards!"

What do you say to a one from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker? Hop in.

Two cab drivers metHey asked one whats from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
Two cab drivers met. "Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?" "Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."

A fellow was following a truck in from Flashcomment Car and train jokes Jokes
A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic. Every block or so, when they were stopped at a stop light, the driver of the truck would jump out of the cab with a big stick and bang on the side of the cargo bay. He'd then jump back into the cab in time to drive away when the signal changed. The first fellow observed this for several miles, until he could stand it no longer. The next time the truck driver jumped out with the stick, the first fellow jumped out and ran up to him. "I'm sorry to bother you," he said, over the din of the banging, "but I am very curious; could you tell me what you are doing?" Without breaking rhythm, the truck driver replied, "Sure, Mac. Ya see, this here's a six-ton truck but I've got eight tons of canaries aboard, so I've gotta keep two ton of them flying all the time so I don't break an axle".